Since Momma's a big nerdy lawyer, the book she grabbed furst was "Making Your Case: The Art of Persuading Judges." *sigh* Really, Momma? Okay. Our words are
A Terrible, Rotten, No-Good Life
Once upon a time, there was a little doggie whose life was just TERRIBLE! Her momma was cruel to her. Why, there was one week her momma made it rain almost nonstop the ENTIRE time, and she refused to dry out the back yard so the sweet little doggie could do zoomies and potty and all that stuff.
Yes, folks, it was a hard life.
Finally the little doggie couldn't take it any more. At the end of the week, her cruel momma got out of bed...and said, "It's raining, we're not going to walk this morning."
The little doggie cried as if her heart would break and shouted, "Momma, this is too much to bear! There's simply no consideration given for my hard life!"
The momma said, "Do you want a cookie?"
And the little doggie decided life wasn't so terrible after all.