Okay, how do these start? Oh, I know!
Once Upon a Time...
There was a beeYOUtiful princess trapped in a tower.
"But Casey, I don't want to be a princess. I'm a cowgirl!"
"This is a fairy tale, Jessie. Fairy tales have beeYOUtiful princesses, not cowgirls!"
"I thought that accuracy was important in storytelling."
"Not in fairy tales! Now hush and let me tell the story."
The beeYOUtiful -- and very pouty -- princess was sad because
"Because she had to be a stupid ol' princess instead of a cowgirl, right?"
The beeYOUtiful COWGIRL princess
was very sad because she was locked all alone with no toys or treats or stuffies or anything.
"OMD!! Casey, this is a skeery story!! What did the beeYOUtiful cowgirl princess DO?!?!"
The beeYOUtiful cowgirl princess knew that a strong brave handsome knight would save her someday. Unfortunately, he was delayed by the evil
But the strong brave handsome knight would not be thwarted, and eventually he made it past perils untold to find the beeYOUtiful cowgirl princess in her tower.
"OH Casey! I mean, strong brave handsome knight! I KNEW you woulds save me. There are no stuffies here at ALL, did you know that?!?!"
So the strong brave handsome knight took the beeYOUtiful cowgirl princess by the paw and led her out of the tower.
"Jessie, why are you rolling on the grass?"
"I'm celebrating my freedom!"
"There's still a dragon to face! We don't have time for rolling on the grass!"
"If YOU'D been locked in a tower with no stuffies or treats or anything, you'd seize the moment and roll on the grass!"
So EVENTUALLY -- as in when SOMEONE stopped rolling in the grass -- the strong brave handsome knight
"Oh THANK YOU, strong brave handsome knight! You're my HERO!!!"
The beeYOUtiful cowgirl princess went to her new castle
went to her new rodeo and had every toy she could ever dream of to play with.
And the strong brave handsome knight went home to his OWN stuffie and decided the darned beeYOUtiful cowgirl princess could just rescue HERSELF next time!